All of us are already well verse with current financial scenario which has unfolded before us. Free economy is under serious distress in Uncle Sam’s country and in the entire world. Sub-prime is the terror word nowadays. Each and every company, financial analyst, trader, banker, investor and even Pakistan are accusing Ninjas (No Income No Assets) of USA who were granted loans but they never bothered paying back for their recent downfall from grace. This crisis has bankrupted biggest names in B-world and severed many dreams of career switches.
These rumblings have impacted India as well. Markets are slumped to their lowest lows because they are emotionally attached to global cues. ICICI is rumoured to go bust. DLFs and Unitechs of world are on free fall. Even Infy has deducted my salary component even though dollar is up. Our esteemed PM says "we are not immune to global problems but our banking system is well capitalized and insulated from sub-prime crisis"
I dont know much about health of our financial system but I have no doubt that what happened in US can not happen in India. We will not see any sub-prime crisis in Indian real estate market. We will not see our banking system crash. Reading this, you might tend to feel proud that our banks are based on strong foundations and they would have been following the principle of banking and leveraging very religiously. Well, I think its partly true but the main reason why sub-prime crisis can not happen in India is corruption. Yes, you read it right. India has always been Utopian country in all corruption indices but its due to corruption that we will remain immune to sub-prime.
Before I explain how, lets have a quick primer to understand what the hell is this sub-prime crisis [people who know can move next para]. In a bid to increase their profits and to help beggars realise their "home sweet home" dream , US banks started disbursing home loans to people who didnt have enough income and हैसियत to pay back that loan. This was done on assumption that property value will always rise and banks can always takeover the property in case of default to recover their loan amount. It was come all, take all scene. Banks were doing it for higher interest rates. Loads of scums (having poor credit history) started availing these loans to buy homes which couldnt even dream of. This bubble started ballooning and so did the commissions of bankers but as Prem Chopra once said famously "नंगा नहायेगा क्या और निचोडेगा क्या?" people started defaulting on loans. Some of them defaulted at their first instalment itself. Suddenly market was flooded with these flats and obviously prices came down. With prices, bank's recovery amount came down. Now banks were forced to write-off these bad debts. This issue had an "action-reaction" effect on entire banking sector and world started facing another recession. [There are many other related factors but lets leave those just now]
As you know sub-prime is related to property. In US, when somebody buys any property, they get it registered with govt. after paying registration amount on cost of flat. Say if flat is of 1 Million, they will declare that to govt and will pay fee on full amount and loan will also be disbursed on registration amount.
In India, if a house costs 1 Million, we will get it registered for only 5 Lakh to govt to save on registration fee (which is 8% on registration amount) Bank will still disburse loan on registration amount. Buyer will give seller 5 Lakh in cash, black money as they call it because neither buyer nor seller have declared this to govt or IT deptt and they intend to keep it black. Property will be in bank's name only and in case buyer defaults, bank will auction the property to recover their money. Now, picture this, property's actual value is 10 Lakh. Bank need to recover 5 lakh. In worst case scenario, property value will come down by 50%, bank will still recover its entire amount + EMIs already paid. So bank will never have to write-off a loan as bad debt and our banking system will never crash due to sub-prime crisis.
As Gurdaas Mann once said, "Maade bande ch vi koi gun changa hovega, jyon hunda gunkari vadkhu lahsoon di gandi da". There's always a good aspect of worst. So, corruption is our insulation from sub-prime rather than strong banking practices (we all know how we are sold banking and insurance products).
So, dont worry. Invest, trade, speculate and live life to fullest till 2012.
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Monday, 22 September 2008
City of lights
Well, I am not talking about "real" cities of lights like Paris or Las Vegas here. I am talking about my very own city beautiful, Chandigarh. I have been staying here for last 15 years. In last 15 years, I have been to most parts of it. ok ok, I still dont know where is International Dolls Museum or where Capitol complex is but what the heck. That doesnt really matter. I think most of you would concur with me if I say that the one of the best thing about Chandigarh has been its quality and density of girls. Err, I am again going off the track.
Well planned roads have always been Chandigarh's USP. Residents here as so used to straight lines that find it tough at other places (at least I struggled in Bangalore). Whenever, I used to tell anyone that I am from Chandigarh, their first line used to be compliment about good roads. I still remember college days when I used to vroom across these straight roads on my little Puch (and Vespa later on). Along with these straight lines, the thing we liked most were green roundabouts that had dotted all the intersections here. These intersections always gave me a great chanc
e of getting ahead of those high flying kineys as girls used to get slow down there. The way I used to zigzag across the traffic maze, it always made Keshto wary sititng behind me and Gogs will still remember his high flying slam and dunk. I used to feel like Gladiator showing off my high centres of gravity and small turning radius [:p]. I used to go as fast I could and then take a turn without taking hand off accelerator and without pushing the breaks. It was real fun.
Well planned roads have always been Chandigarh's USP. Residents here as so used to straight lines that find it tough at other places (at least I struggled in Bangalore). Whenever, I used to tell anyone that I am from Chandigarh, their first line used to be compliment about good roads. I still remember college days when I used to vroom across these straight roads on my little Puch (and Vespa later on). Along with these straight lines, the thing we liked most were green roundabouts that had dotted all the intersections here. These intersections always gave me a great chanc
e of getting ahead of those high flying kineys as girls used to get slow down there. The way I used to zigzag across the traffic maze, it always made Keshto wary sititng behind me and Gogs will still remember his high flying slam and dunk. I used to feel like Gladiator showing off my high centres of gravity and small turning radius [:p]. I used to go as fast I could and then take a turn without taking hand off accelerator and without pushing the breaks. It was real fun.(Photo courtsey: Tribune Website.)
Now, after being away all this while from these lovely roads, the thing which I am missing most are those free flowing round abouts. Owing to tremendous pressure on city's traffic, administration has gone ahead and converted all those roundabouts into traffic light signals. The places where we used to drive like sinosoidal curve have now been changed. Now, you must stop, wait and then wait and then wait and more wait and then finally crawl through it. Traffic lights stand on these intersections teasing you, counting down the seconds to take off but green light will fizzle so quickly that even Jim of American Pie fame will be proud of his timings and you are left with another red countdown. Even if you manage to get past one signal, another awaits you after next 1 KM and then next. There was stats that a cigratte takes 2-3 mins of your life. Dont know how much of my life has been wasted waiting at these traffic signals now and how much would I be wasting more? It becomes so frustrating that one feels like going Bangalore way of driving on cycle tracks (yes, we have dedicated cycle tracks here) and pavements but then we far more cultured (in traffic sense) than any other place in India that we prefer to wait for next green light. I am missing my old chandigarh (but it doesnt mean that I am not loving its new Avtaar. that story later)
P.S. The thing which is most frustifying is the way kiney girls cover their faces behind kilometers and kilometers of veils. Je kar eh Nakaab na hon tan banda roz savere B21 the gaana gaanda jaave. "Ni, tere hoye savere darshan. Ajj din vadhiya langunga"
Friday, 22 August 2008
Olympic fever.
In ancient times, Olympics were greek way of settling scores without shedding blood where Greek athletes used to compete with each other for glory and pride. Iranians always wondered how could these greeks fight their asses off for crown of Olive leaves!!!! For greeks it used to be a celebration time.
Times changed, the festival which was lost in the annals of history was revived again. Entire world would wait for it. It became the biggest celebration of human race. But some how, world's second largest population got never invited into this party. Two weeks of sports extravaganza was always used to be gloomiest period for Indian athletes (other than hockey magicians). How can you expect that when most of the times, it never figured in medal tally itself and countries with population less than Chandigarh's used to win bountiful. Initial days of hope used to give way to disgust and guilt. So near but yet so far cases like PT Usha and Milkha singh used to make even more heart wrenching and Olympic show used to only get limited to closing ceremony.
In 96, Paes broke the Individual medal drought in Tennis with bronze. Malleshwari followed it up with a bronze in 2000, entire India was kinna content that we at least registered on medal tally (ahead of Pakistan:)). In 2004, Rathore moved up the pedestal with a silver and India was again very happy. Imagine a country of billion people feeling in cloud 9 with 1 medal.
2008 Beijing. Expectations were high as that it will be special this time. Although hockey teams were absent for the first time in History but we had star shooters, ace tennis players, slew of weightlifters, upcoming archers and baddies, veteran jumper. People were expecting count to exceed.
When Bindra shot a perfect 10 to win India's first ever Olympic gold, entire India became euphoric. We had OUR GOLD MEDAL. Govts started en cashing on euphoria by announcing gifts, cash prizes which made even cricketers jealous. Initial Hysteria got over and it started sinking in that remaining athletes have started crumbling under pressure. Feeling left out, India again started withdrawing itself out of Olympics. In came Akhil Kumar like a pleasant breeze. India started believing in itself and Akhil. This guy was so full of positive energy that his fellow boxers also got sprinkling of it. All three breezed into quarters. Suddenly, three medals were in sight. Media was making Indian hysterical and Politicians were making it mad. Pressure took its toll on Akhil and Jitendar. Both lost in QF but Vijendar kept his nerves to reach semis (Unluckily he lost). In the meanwhile, Sushil Kumar in repechage style, won a bronze out of no where . India was over the moon. Three medals were the best ever showing India had. Above expectations. A show stolen by lesser known mortals. Now, kids know the names of these medal winners. Superb display.
Right now, as I write this piece, our byte hungry media is going crazy hounding each and every one related to all three medal winners. Politicians are falling over each other to award these guys. Bipasha wants to go out on date with Vijendar. Last I heard, Haryana CM has ordered approach road to Vijendar's house to be built in a night. Dont take me wrong, its very good to appreciate and award special efforts but all this reeks of opportunism. No body gives a shit what these athletes would have gone thru, what should be done to build upon this start, how can we match China. All they want is cheap publicity. Earlier it used to be cricketers, now its Olympians. Bloody glory hunters.
I think main reason behind this media circus is scarcity of real winners in Indian sporting arena. Cricket used to provide a shallow cover for our olympic under achievements. Now thats also not the case. Ever wondered why don't we produce olympic winners? reasons are aplenty. system, culture, resources are the ones more famously and frequently quoted.
But is it fair to put entire blame on politicians or system? A quick look at medal tally will show that there are so many countries which are very poor or are ruled by corrupt dictators but still have more medals than India. Ever wondered why? I agree that politicians should also be blamed but point to ponder upon is that how many of our athletes practice day and night with single minded dedication of achieving Olympic glory? How many of our swimmers practice 16KM swim on daily basis? I agree that quite a lot of people don’t take sports as carrier choice but there a lot who do (go to any local/national level competition and you will see crowds of participants. ) but how many of these athletes have taken up sports with aim of winning Olympic? Most of them come to participate and win a certificate which might land them a job in railways or other govt. PSUs. I am not trying demean these hard working athletes but I don’t think that entire blame should go to system or politicians. Athletes also have some responsibility.
On positive note, things are looking better as Indian athletes are COMPETING now instead of just participating as was the case in 80s and 90s. But its time to have bring more Akhils into system who instill belief into entire team and nurture Vijendars. Time to encourage more Sushils who are ready to work aways from media glare. Time to bring in more resource rich Bindras who dont rely on system to shoot down gold.
Do comment your thoughts as well.
Times changed, the festival which was lost in the annals of history was revived again. Entire world would wait for it. It became the biggest celebration of human race. But some how, world's second largest population got never invited into this party. Two weeks of sports extravaganza was always used to be gloomiest period for Indian athletes (other than hockey magicians). How can you expect that when most of the times, it never figured in medal tally itself and countries with population less than Chandigarh's used to win bountiful. Initial days of hope used to give way to disgust and guilt. So near but yet so far cases like PT Usha and Milkha singh used to make even more heart wrenching and Olympic show used to only get limited to closing ceremony.
In 96, Paes broke the Individual medal drought in Tennis with bronze. Malleshwari followed it up with a bronze in 2000, entire India was kinna content that we at least registered on medal tally (ahead of Pakistan:)). In 2004, Rathore moved up the pedestal with a silver and India was again very happy. Imagine a country of billion people feeling in cloud 9 with 1 medal.
2008 Beijing. Expectations were high as that it will be special this time. Although hockey teams were absent for the first time in History but we had star shooters, ace tennis players, slew of weightlifters, upcoming archers and baddies, veteran jumper. People were expecting count to exceed.
When Bindra shot a perfect 10 to win India's first ever Olympic gold, entire India became euphoric. We had OUR GOLD MEDAL. Govts started en cashing on euphoria by announcing gifts, cash prizes which made even cricketers jealous. Initial Hysteria got over and it started sinking in that remaining athletes have started crumbling under pressure. Feeling left out, India again started withdrawing itself out of Olympics. In came Akhil Kumar like a pleasant breeze. India started believing in itself and Akhil. This guy was so full of positive energy that his fellow boxers also got sprinkling of it. All three breezed into quarters. Suddenly, three medals were in sight. Media was making Indian hysterical and Politicians were making it mad. Pressure took its toll on Akhil and Jitendar. Both lost in QF but Vijendar kept his nerves to reach semis (Unluckily he lost). In the meanwhile, Sushil Kumar in repechage style, won a bronze out of no where . India was over the moon. Three medals were the best ever showing India had. Above expectations. A show stolen by lesser known mortals. Now, kids know the names of these medal winners. Superb display.
Right now, as I write this piece, our byte hungry media is going crazy hounding each and every one related to all three medal winners. Politicians are falling over each other to award these guys. Bipasha wants to go out on date with Vijendar. Last I heard, Haryana CM has ordered approach road to Vijendar's house to be built in a night. Dont take me wrong, its very good to appreciate and award special efforts but all this reeks of opportunism. No body gives a shit what these athletes would have gone thru, what should be done to build upon this start, how can we match China. All they want is cheap publicity. Earlier it used to be cricketers, now its Olympians. Bloody glory hunters.
I think main reason behind this media circus is scarcity of real winners in Indian sporting arena. Cricket used to provide a shallow cover for our olympic under achievements. Now thats also not the case. Ever wondered why don't we produce olympic winners? reasons are aplenty. system, culture, resources are the ones more famously and frequently quoted.
But is it fair to put entire blame on politicians or system? A quick look at medal tally will show that there are so many countries which are very poor or are ruled by corrupt dictators but still have more medals than India. Ever wondered why? I agree that politicians should also be blamed but point to ponder upon is that how many of our athletes practice day and night with single minded dedication of achieving Olympic glory? How many of our swimmers practice 16KM swim on daily basis? I agree that quite a lot of people don’t take sports as carrier choice but there a lot who do (go to any local/national level competition and you will see crowds of participants. ) but how many of these athletes have taken up sports with aim of winning Olympic? Most of them come to participate and win a certificate which might land them a job in railways or other govt. PSUs. I am not trying demean these hard working athletes but I don’t think that entire blame should go to system or politicians. Athletes also have some responsibility.
On positive note, things are looking better as Indian athletes are COMPETING now instead of just participating as was the case in 80s and 90s. But its time to have bring more Akhils into system who instill belief into entire team and nurture Vijendars. Time to encourage more Sushils who are ready to work aways from media glare. Time to bring in more resource rich Bindras who dont rely on system to shoot down gold.
Do comment your thoughts as well.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Trip down the Landra Tangori Road.
I was looking for sector 76 in Mohali. Some body told me that its on Landra Road. I got bit nostalgic listening about Landra. It was almost 8 years since me and father went down that way looking for Tangori.
A frail looking sardarji told us the way from Landra "bau ji, is raste te sidhe chale jao....kuch 20 25 minute dan rasta hai itho. Engineering college sadak de sajje paase hai ik building chhotti yahi". My dad kick started the scooter. Sitting at the back seat, I was trying to imagine my future college. My Chemistry teacher had painted a very grim picture of the college. "Tangori??? othe ye barkha pai jaye tan kishti te jana painda hai." he used to deride it like anything. Even then I had opted for this college over quite a few government colleges like Firozpur, Gurdaspur and Bhathinda (supposdely i was interested in doing Electronics and Communication engg and Mechanical was the best these colleges could offer me). My mates at Thapar had also asked me go for ECE (I had wasted my dad's money at Thapar by opting for Civil there) Its been over 15 minutes and there was no sign of the college. Couple of minutes later, we saw a building. "ohi lagda hai!" said my dad. "hai?? nahi oh tan poultry farm hai!!!" I said after a while and both of us were laughing like anything. Another ten minutes on those dodgy roads and we reached there. It was a 1.75 building college. One for classes, .5 for workshop and another qaurter of unfinished one. We filled up coupld of forms and started our 23 Km trip back to home. On our way back, we were thinking that its a decent choice which is on verge of something big. Sort of high risk high returns thing. Four years passed and I was Er. Ashish Sharma. Our college had grown with us. Now, it had 5 buildings and a decent ground. Only thing which had gone worse was Landra Banoor road. From potholed road, it had become dust bowl. I and my scooter were happy to that we don’t have to tread through these paths again. Well, at least my scooter was lucky on that front.
I didn’t realise that I had reached Landra while searching sector 76. Inadvertently, my bike turned towards Tangori. On right side, CEC was still there but loads of colleges had sprung up along with that like mushrooms. B-school, Pharmacy college, general education college, engg college. You name it, they had it in that small area. I was wondering if they have these many rooms there to accommodate these many diverse studies. After driving a while, I started noticing major differences. Road was bit wider, it had lesser potholes and loads of billboards and flags had replaced lush green views on both sides. Emaar MGF, Unitech City and pearl City. These were the names of builders who had decided to change the landscape in favour of developed Greater Mohali. Damn, these builders had bought entire stretch and beyond. PUDA like IPL had played this township card very well. They had sold the rights of acquiring these lands directly from Farmers to these modern day imperialists and had drafted these sectors out of nothing. These townships were suppose to come up in next 3-4 years and were already selling the flats/plots/villas before laying the foundation stones itself. Somebody told me that they are making this road a four lane highway. Woahh…superb business proposition. This would take that area into different orbit all together but I was felling a bit sad as well. This had taken stolen the virginity from those fields. Papa trackers were replaced with JCBs. Farmers with security guards, greenery with lines of bricks ready to be walled. Farmers I saw on the way were looking a bit down. I am sure they were small land tillers who didn’t get their chance to wash their hands in that dhan ganga which would have flooded the area. These acres were sold for crores.
Once I crossed the railway line, scene was back to normal. Greenery was back and so were hordes of buffaloes that now seem to react for your horns. Positives of developments I must say. Then I reached SUSCET. College was deserted (it was Sunday silly!). Nothing much had changed since our convocation apart from ground which was lush green now. Security guard there was bit sceptical of my intentions. “Who would come to this desert on Sunday?” he must be thinking. “Ki labda hai bai?” he asked. “kuch nahi.” I said ‘Aiwe hi apni mitti labhda aaya si’ I thought. I told him that I am an ex-SUSCETian (hope that’s we are called). I asked him “If I could I roam around?” “yaar bamb bumb na rakh dayi” he said apprehensively. That statement summed the situation. Swords which were brandished 8 years back have been replaced by guns and pistols. Year on year, quality of batches must have gone down. Rayats, landras, bhaddals seem to winning this one. These colleges either had money or power. Our college mgmnt seemed to have neither. Irony is that Tangori’s polytechnic was now more famous than Engg college. I picked up my helmet and started moving back. That moment I saw the placement board placed at reception. Infy, TCS and many others. Big names were there. May be I was wrong. May be its bad to make perception based on security guard’s tales. May be our college was on the way up. That was pretty good silver lining behind the clouds. On that positive note, I started my long journey back to Chandigarh. Uff…it still is very costly affair going on your bike alone, Keshto J
P.S. Gogs, if at all you are planning to hitch hike with Manu and Chetan, then go ahead bindaas. That Landran petrol pump is now closed down.
A frail looking sardarji told us the way from Landra "bau ji, is raste te sidhe chale jao....kuch 20 25 minute dan rasta hai itho. Engineering college sadak de sajje paase hai ik building chhotti yahi". My dad kick started the scooter. Sitting at the back seat, I was trying to imagine my future college. My Chemistry teacher had painted a very grim picture of the college. "Tangori??? othe ye barkha pai jaye tan kishti te jana painda hai." he used to deride it like anything. Even then I had opted for this college over quite a few government colleges like Firozpur, Gurdaspur and Bhathinda (supposdely i was interested in doing Electronics and Communication engg and Mechanical was the best these colleges could offer me). My mates at Thapar had also asked me go for ECE (I had wasted my dad's money at Thapar by opting for Civil there) Its been over 15 minutes and there was no sign of the college. Couple of minutes later, we saw a building. "ohi lagda hai!" said my dad. "hai?? nahi oh tan poultry farm hai!!!" I said after a while and both of us were laughing like anything. Another ten minutes on those dodgy roads and we reached there. It was a 1.75 building college. One for classes, .5 for workshop and another qaurter of unfinished one. We filled up coupld of forms and started our 23 Km trip back to home. On our way back, we were thinking that its a decent choice which is on verge of something big. Sort of high risk high returns thing. Four years passed and I was Er. Ashish Sharma. Our college had grown with us. Now, it had 5 buildings and a decent ground. Only thing which had gone worse was Landra Banoor road. From potholed road, it had become dust bowl. I and my scooter were happy to that we don’t have to tread through these paths again. Well, at least my scooter was lucky on that front.
I didn’t realise that I had reached Landra while searching sector 76. Inadvertently, my bike turned towards Tangori. On right side, CEC was still there but loads of colleges had sprung up along with that like mushrooms. B-school, Pharmacy college, general education college, engg college. You name it, they had it in that small area. I was wondering if they have these many rooms there to accommodate these many diverse studies. After driving a while, I started noticing major differences. Road was bit wider, it had lesser potholes and loads of billboards and flags had replaced lush green views on both sides. Emaar MGF, Unitech City and pearl City. These were the names of builders who had decided to change the landscape in favour of developed Greater Mohali. Damn, these builders had bought entire stretch and beyond. PUDA like IPL had played this township card very well. They had sold the rights of acquiring these lands directly from Farmers to these modern day imperialists and had drafted these sectors out of nothing. These townships were suppose to come up in next 3-4 years and were already selling the flats/plots/villas before laying the foundation stones itself. Somebody told me that they are making this road a four lane highway. Woahh…superb business proposition. This would take that area into different orbit all together but I was felling a bit sad as well. This had taken stolen the virginity from those fields. Papa trackers were replaced with JCBs. Farmers with security guards, greenery with lines of bricks ready to be walled. Farmers I saw on the way were looking a bit down. I am sure they were small land tillers who didn’t get their chance to wash their hands in that dhan ganga which would have flooded the area. These acres were sold for crores.
Once I crossed the railway line, scene was back to normal. Greenery was back and so were hordes of buffaloes that now seem to react for your horns. Positives of developments I must say. Then I reached SUSCET. College was deserted (it was Sunday silly!). Nothing much had changed since our convocation apart from ground which was lush green now. Security guard there was bit sceptical of my intentions. “Who would come to this desert on Sunday?” he must be thinking. “Ki labda hai bai?” he asked. “kuch nahi.” I said ‘Aiwe hi apni mitti labhda aaya si’ I thought. I told him that I am an ex-SUSCETian (hope that’s we are called). I asked him “If I could I roam around?” “yaar bamb bumb na rakh dayi” he said apprehensively. That statement summed the situation. Swords which were brandished 8 years back have been replaced by guns and pistols. Year on year, quality of batches must have gone down. Rayats, landras, bhaddals seem to winning this one. These colleges either had money or power. Our college mgmnt seemed to have neither. Irony is that Tangori’s polytechnic was now more famous than Engg college. I picked up my helmet and started moving back. That moment I saw the placement board placed at reception. Infy, TCS and many others. Big names were there. May be I was wrong. May be its bad to make perception based on security guard’s tales. May be our college was on the way up. That was pretty good silver lining behind the clouds. On that positive note, I started my long journey back to Chandigarh. Uff…it still is very costly affair going on your bike alone, Keshto J
P.S. Gogs, if at all you are planning to hitch hike with Manu and Chetan, then go ahead bindaas. That Landran petrol pump is now closed down.
Saturday, 26 April 2008
Tashan - the utter crap.
Couple of days back, I was longing to eat something really special. A thought came that lets cook kadhi. I googled for the recipe of kadhi pakora. Found it too difficult to cook and it was already 12 AM in India so no point in disturbing mom also. Started thinking of alternatives. Muttor paneer, paneer bhurji, veg jalfrezi. Choices were there but not salivating enough as these were now becoming pretty regular affair in our menu. Then I remembered that I had bought a pack of bhaturas. Lets cook chhole bhautre. Yummy. Chhole (the one for bhatures) are bit tricky business. So, I googled again. Found quite a few recipes and couple of those were looking very exotic. Game on. Instructions were: grind onion, ginger, garlic, chillies, clove (I added cardamom also) into a paste. Tadkafy these along with cumin, mustard and fenugreek (I added bay leaves and cinnamon sticks as well). Once the colour turns brown, add channa powder, chilli powder, turmeric powder and salt (main jeera powder, garam masala, kaali mirch bhi daala). Then add tomato paste and boiled channa and let it cook for some time. It was ready in 15 minutes. All the spices and extra ones which I added had shown their effects. It was horribly spicy and hot. I tried diluting it and even added some lime juice but spices were too many too much. My worst ever cooking since I joined "can-cook-without-burning-it" league of chefs (no wait, then second worse. worse was aaloo vadiyan). Everybody ate it with plenty of curd (I must say that it tasted pretty good with curd though). Too bad. That too on a day when I wanted to eat something really good. Ironic. Isn’t it.
Now, you must be wondering what am I writing? Title indicates that its about tashan movie but here I am narrating my sad kitchen story. Actually its been quite some time
since I saw a good bollywood masala film and I was awaiting Tashan's release especially to see Bachan Pande (AK). What was dished out by director was no different from my cooking disaster.
It looked like director Vijay acharya saw few movies (most probably some tarantino flicks) and thought lets make a similar type of Hindi one. Revenge-for-family-honour plot has always worked in bollywood. Tashan was also based on same lines. He started narrating it in Tarantino style, present-flash back-present-future. Funny don, a femme assistant, couple of jackass side kicks and in middle of this was our good old hamming saif (Somebody should ask him to loosen up. One shouldn’t always pretend to be a tight ass rock star. It doesn’t suit him. All of us adore that fool DCH Saif). First half went on a like normal Hindi movie. Straight forward story, Everybody over-acting (apart from AK), out-of-plot-but-on-exotic-location songs. Though Karina looked anorexic. She has lost too much of fat for her own good. She is too bony now. Movie was still tolerable as Akshay was introduced. What a refreshing change. Real sincere actor who gets under the skin of character invariably in all his movies (though he gets too sincere while doing pelvic thrusting dance steps).
Second half opened in a desert when intolerable anil kapoor came riding on a desert scooter (In Rajasthan!!!! imagine). Next shot, all four stars were fighting black cat commandoes who come from no where in true NYPD style jumping from choppers and our khiladi Akshay was dodging AK 56s while jumping on drums in a sequence ripped from the free running chase sequence from casino royale. Black cats obviously got defatted but our director added a DON style twist by killing the honest cop who knew saif was a good boy (though this twist dies with this scene itself). Then, KK, SAK & AK criss-cross across Rajasthan, Ladakh and Kerala looking for 25 crores and you are left wondering why would anyone hide such amount in huts, with camel riders, with kathakalis and in boats. And then director takes us back into 80s when he ties the loose ends of puzzle where you realise that baali umar ka pyar between Akhshay and Karina was nipped in its buds when bhaiyya ji (Anil) killed Karina’s father and took over his legacy to become top gunda of Kanpur. All in front of Gudiya’s (Karina) young impressionable eyes. This instigates Karina to be cold blooded bitch and embark on a revenge mission. Wow, so damn original. (On other note, Karina is playing a real bitch in next yash raj cartoon movie.)
Then came the point when movie reached its idiotic zenith. Climax. It was "inspired" from so many different movies that you lose the count after a while. Bizli ke jhatke scene from a Vijaykanth movie (Tamil sunny deol). Akshay on free running race to dodge hundreds of thousands of millions bullets. Again. All three come out unscathed from a super powerful hand grenade attack. Then there is Break-the-pole-and-make-gundas-fly scene from Sivaji. Akhshay fights shaolin monks on electricity tower. karina kills Bhatia ji in true Achilles style. Saif burned thugs to ashes with his fire gun and then he does a "Fly the water scooter from a nala" stunt in dhoom style I suppose (and you wonder what is water scooter doing in middle of Mumbai at don's lanka). Climax was not over yet. Defeated but still alive Anil threw his final dice. He came out in true knight style brandishing double edged swords in both hands on a RICKSHAW instead of horse!!!!!!!!!! How symbolic. It was three on one. But our heroes played it fair and let Uma Thurman oops karina kill bill urf bhayya ji (Anil Kapoor) but movie goes on even after that, narrating the story after end where Saif owns a all girl call centre and Akhsay declares while holding his crotch ki uski biwi (Karina) ne ghoonte se baandh rakha hai. Terrible is the only word you can think of.
This movie is classic case of adding too many masalas, combining too many recipes but forgetting about basic theme. Director didn’t know what he was cooking. In the end what you get is a mix veg, chicken, pork, bacon & meat stew which is so terrible that you can not even taste (at least my chhole were edible with curd). They say "too many cooks spoil the broth". Same holds true when you add too many masalas as well. Songs are ok but movie is long and unending (same as this blog actually). I am thinking really hard if I have seen a movie worse then this. You expect some standard from Yashraj films but they are trying too hard to touch new lows with every release. I think this is worse movie I have ever seen. If you have seen even worse then do let me know. I would like to see that as well kyonki kehte hai ki aadmi agar ek baar jail ka khana kha le to vo kuch bhi kha sakta hai and this movie is worse then that as well. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, for those who want to know what does Tashan means. Some say its style, some say attitude and some say sense of doing something really cool. To me, its all three and much more. Somthing which you can not really define in words or constraint it to one definition. It is.....................different :))
Now, you must be wondering what am I writing? Title indicates that its about tashan movie but here I am narrating my sad kitchen story. Actually its been quite some time
since I saw a good bollywood masala film and I was awaiting Tashan's release especially to see Bachan Pande (AK). What was dished out by director was no different from my cooking disaster.It looked like director Vijay acharya saw few movies (most probably some tarantino flicks) and thought lets make a similar type of Hindi one. Revenge-for-family-honour plot has always worked in bollywood. Tashan was also based on same lines. He started narrating it in Tarantino style, present-flash back-present-future. Funny don, a femme assistant, couple of jackass side kicks and in middle of this was our good old hamming saif (Somebody should ask him to loosen up. One shouldn’t always pretend to be a tight ass rock star. It doesn’t suit him. All of us adore that fool DCH Saif). First half went on a like normal Hindi movie. Straight forward story, Everybody over-acting (apart from AK), out-of-plot-but-on-exotic-location songs. Though Karina looked anorexic. She has lost too much of fat for her own good. She is too bony now. Movie was still tolerable as Akshay was introduced. What a refreshing change. Real sincere actor who gets under the skin of character invariably in all his movies (though he gets too sincere while doing pelvic thrusting dance steps).
Second half opened in a desert when intolerable anil kapoor came riding on a desert scooter (In Rajasthan!!!! imagine). Next shot, all four stars were fighting black cat commandoes who come from no where in true NYPD style jumping from choppers and our khiladi Akshay was dodging AK 56s while jumping on drums in a sequence ripped from the free running chase sequence from casino royale. Black cats obviously got defatted but our director added a DON style twist by killing the honest cop who knew saif was a good boy (though this twist dies with this scene itself). Then, KK, SAK & AK criss-cross across Rajasthan, Ladakh and Kerala looking for 25 crores and you are left wondering why would anyone hide such amount in huts, with camel riders, with kathakalis and in boats. And then director takes us back into 80s when he ties the loose ends of puzzle where you realise that baali umar ka pyar between Akhshay and Karina was nipped in its buds when bhaiyya ji (Anil) killed Karina’s father and took over his legacy to become top gunda of Kanpur. All in front of Gudiya’s (Karina) young impressionable eyes. This instigates Karina to be cold blooded bitch and embark on a revenge mission. Wow, so damn original. (On other note, Karina is playing a real bitch in next yash raj cartoon movie.)
Then came the point when movie reached its idiotic zenith. Climax. It was "inspired" from so many different movies that you lose the count after a while. Bizli ke jhatke scene from a Vijaykanth movie (Tamil sunny deol). Akshay on free running race to dodge hundreds of thousands of millions bullets. Again. All three come out unscathed from a super powerful hand grenade attack. Then there is Break-the-pole-and-make-gundas-fly scene from Sivaji. Akhshay fights shaolin monks on electricity tower. karina kills Bhatia ji in true Achilles style. Saif burned thugs to ashes with his fire gun and then he does a "Fly the water scooter from a nala" stunt in dhoom style I suppose (and you wonder what is water scooter doing in middle of Mumbai at don's lanka). Climax was not over yet. Defeated but still alive Anil threw his final dice. He came out in true knight style brandishing double edged swords in both hands on a RICKSHAW instead of horse!!!!!!!!!! How symbolic. It was three on one. But our heroes played it fair and let Uma Thurman oops karina kill bill urf bhayya ji (Anil Kapoor) but movie goes on even after that, narrating the story after end where Saif owns a all girl call centre and Akhsay declares while holding his crotch ki uski biwi (Karina) ne ghoonte se baandh rakha hai. Terrible is the only word you can think of.
This movie is classic case of adding too many masalas, combining too many recipes but forgetting about basic theme. Director didn’t know what he was cooking. In the end what you get is a mix veg, chicken, pork, bacon & meat stew which is so terrible that you can not even taste (at least my chhole were edible with curd). They say "too many cooks spoil the broth". Same holds true when you add too many masalas as well. Songs are ok but movie is long and unending (same as this blog actually). I am thinking really hard if I have seen a movie worse then this. You expect some standard from Yashraj films but they are trying too hard to touch new lows with every release. I think this is worse movie I have ever seen. If you have seen even worse then do let me know. I would like to see that as well kyonki kehte hai ki aadmi agar ek baar jail ka khana kha le to vo kuch bhi kha sakta hai and this movie is worse then that as well. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, for those who want to know what does Tashan means. Some say its style, some say attitude and some say sense of doing something really cool. To me, its all three and much more. Somthing which you can not really define in words or constraint it to one definition. It is.....................different :))
Sunday, 9 March 2008
Happy women's day
March 8. World "celebrates" this as International Women's day. If you are in India, you will start getting a feel that its close now. Ponds, Lakme and Fair & Lovely will come out with ads showing how far Indian women has come from those "black/dark" days. Sections of media would cover the sucess of Indian biz women in private sector. Kirans (Shaw and Bedi) would be toast of town. Sonia, Pratibha, Renuka, Mayawati, Sheila, Jayalalita, Uma, Mamta, Vasundra Raje. All different manifestations of same source of power. Naari Shakti. There is a general sense of transformation in fortune of women.
Well, am in total agreement that Indian women have moved a lot with every passing year and will continue to move on. I have no doubts on that. But as always, there are always two sides of the coin and the other side of this coin is, I am afraid to say, is very grave. On surface, all of us would acknowledge that women empowerment is on roll. If you scratch it just a bit, women power just evaporates into thin air. Girl is still considered a curse. Nobody wants a girl child here in any village/town/city in the so called richly states of Punjab and Haryana. Stats say it all, 861/1000 is official sex ratio but NGOs put it more near to 700/1000.
"Get rid of girl" process starts right from the day first signs of pregnancy begin to show. Pregnancy test, Sex determination (though illegal in Republic of India), abortion. All this costs meagre 250 rupees!!!!!!! Less than what you would spend on a Pizza in Pizza Hut or on sub in a subway. Can you believe that? If somebody is too busy or too poor or too lazy to get the child aborted, they wait in a hope of their kishna. If instead its a Radha, the chances of not seeing next day's light are pretty high (NGOs say that we have lost 80 lakh such radhas in last 10-15 years).
If girl is born in mother's home or if father's parents are TOO kind hearted, they let her live but cruelities don't end here. Everybody in the locality comes to pay their condolences for the misfortune and each one will tell their share of mantras "Koshish karte raho, bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahi" "mere ko na subah sapna aaya, agli baar tere ghar ladka hi hoga" "Paas vale gaon mein ek naye sadhu maharaj aaye hai, unki kripa se mere ghar ladka hua, tu unke vaha jake kyon nahi try karti?" All advices are given in "good" faith so that unlucky ones can get rid of their curse. Some listen to these and end up with women cricket team and a male umpire but most go for options of "test and abort" instead of "trial and error".
If at all a girl manages to fall through the net, she is subjected to unsaid tortures just because her father came out with a X chromosome instead of Y. She is supposed to share the burden of her mother's daily chores while her father & mother are busy trying to build her "budape ka sahara" (son!!!!!!) She will be abused, beaten, made to work like donkey without food.
Such girls will continue suffering all these brutalities till they die or till they get herslef a Bahu who has also managed to bring a daugter in this world and this vicious cycle continues. But I am writing this blog to highlight the plight of unborn girls.
I have heard or rather read that all such villages which may not even have roads, doctors, schools etc do have access to mobile abortion clinics who come into villages with loud-speakers announcing to help people get rid of their burdens at low prices. If at all these hawkers dont come around selling these remedies, people take next bus to nearest town to their family abortionists. These jhola chhap docs are also no less evil. Quite a few times, they abort boys to earn abortion money. Easy money it is, they say. "Laser se kato aur fir injection de ke bahar nikalo aur fenk do" thats it. Punjab Police raided one such clinic after locals complained after too many feotuses were found in the pond near to that clinic.
I dont want to portray any gory pictures here but its truth that people dont want daughters anymore. As our society has grown, daughters have become a even bigger bane. Such people who have been hell bent on making female species extinct, do realize what all this can lead up to but no body wants to take the "burden". "Arre ladki kisi aur ke ghar pe ho jaye to theek hai, apne yaha ladka hi chahiye", they say. Things have become so bad that grooms in Haryana can not find suitable brides for themselves and have to go as far as kerala to find one. I dont think time is too far when the picture portrayed in a movie matribhumi will come true. This movie showed a nation without women (a must watch if you haven't.) It gives me jitters to think of such times. Imagine if there are no women left in their lives, men will become beasts (if they already are not). There will be no respect for values, family, ethics in life. One doesnt have to go too far to see an example of such men. Talibaans are one such tribe who by design or by accident never got a chance to interact with any lady in their life (no mother, sister, wife, friend etc) and see what a disaster they have become when it comes to running a society.
Being from Punjab, I have seen the kind of barbs a mother has to face for bearing a girl child and while I was going through the articles on IBNLIVE, I was getting angry at police not doing anything, renuka chaudhary (minister for women empowerment) just blabbering and sad that we are just watching. Worse part was the end of one of these articles, there were three ads by google which were trying to sell sex determination and abortion kits. I know its because of stupid google ad spiders and not a fault of ibnlive but it was really ironic and puts things in right perspective where we know what is wrong but still we knowingly/unknowingly keep on encouraging such practices (not discouraging somebody is also a equal crime) I think, its time, all of stand up against such rotten beliefs and stop our society from going down the gutter. As a state, punjab and haryana do not have to look too far for an example. Himachal has shown how investing into social system can help eradicate all such malpractices. Its not that difficult. Lets resolve to say no to dowry first (root of all such issues)
I would hate to be in a place where mothers pray to god
"ab ke kiye jo data, aisa na kijo!
agle janam mohe Bitiya na Dijo!"
Ashish Sharma
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Sampark Kranti: Bangalore to Delhi
[I wrote this as I was trying to reflect upon Indian railway budget 2008 and does it addresses the issues faced by a passenger like me. It’s a long post. So, read it decide if budget answers my concerns. Most of the incidents are true but might not have happened with me or on same trip. Names changed. ]
'Sharma, hurry up mate aur ye Jayant ko bhi nahane jana tha?' Verma shouted. "Arre bhai Verma, pure do din nahane ko nahi milega" Jayant shouted from shower. It was already 5:30 and we had to leave for Yeshwantpur station as early as possible to beat the evening rush. "bhaiyya, 200 lagega, jana hai to bolo" Auto rickshaw guy was at his usual arrogant best. "Ok, boss, 150 le lena" I requested. "160 final !!" Rickshaw vala said in a resigned tone after too much of haggling. Though I felt like winning the argument but I wished only if
"Jayant, Karan ka phone aaya?" I asked while I was looking around for him and suddenly somebody patted on my back. "Kaha reh jaate ho yaar? Main Mysore se yaha pahunch tum se pehle and you guys can not come on time from
Verma went to buy some water. At least that’s what he said. We yawned over another 30 minutes. And then Verma called me "Reservation chart has been placed at platform 1 and train will also come here only. Come here". "ki masla hai yaar?" now I was angry. "we again pick up the luggage and go there. What the hell" We crossed the bridge again to reach platform 1 "where is the reservation chart yaar?" Karan asked Verma. "le ye le, ek hissa aur ek vo jameen pe pada hai aur baaki vo vaha ek group khada hai unke pass hai" Verma replied. "yaar, ye bande hai ki junglee, sala chart hi faad diya" Karan said before going into crowd. He came back with another piece of chart. We were still RAC 38, 39, 40. "what corruption is this yaar? Diwali train is sold out and no seat for us even though we booked tickets on second day of booking. this is ridiculous" everybody was cribbing.
train arrived on time on our platform. After hell a lot of jostling, we got into train and luckily found our seats as well. 5 (6 if you consider Karan) of us on 1.5 seats. it was too bad. whole of train was full upto brim. No space in corridors, near bathroom, on floor, on seats, on doors. No space at all.
Next day, me and Verma started with our regular "check-out girls while you brush" tour. This was our normal way of getting thru the "night in train and morning at doors" blues. Oh boss......train was full of them. there was one particular group who looked to be amritsari babes (now, dont ask me how I guess all this.) They were five and sab ek se badkar ek. We came back and then others went to on geri route. It was via pantry. Jayant came back and told "Pantry guys have rented their coaches as well to other passengers for 200 bucks" That was too much. TT was no where to be seen and we were struggling with our 1.5 seats. So, "checking out babes" tour were more frequent as that way you need not share a seat with some one where by you are squatting on one half of tashreef and he is squeezed to core.
By afternoon, there was not even a drop of water in pantry and the owner minted loads of money by jacking up the rates. "We should complain about it" Mohit Ritwani was fuming. "but who will listen and also we dont have time to go behind these people for couple of bucks" Karan was dejected. Both used to share the griefs but never accepted each other as friends. Back at our seats, we were busy playing cards and cracking same stale jokes. Suddenly I got a call from dad who was worried as it seems that some train has gone off the rails near
By night, we were in Nagpur and as all of us were pissed off with train's food. We went out to have something on platform. Whole of platform was full of stalls. "He is making omlette on same tawa as paranthas. I wont eat anything here" It was my turn to maaro nakhra. "ok. lets have poori from that stall" Jayant said. "yaar, ye poori pet kharaab to nahi karegi?" I was not relenting. "Ab station pe yehi milega. Khana hai?" Jayant was getting agitated. "ok". I gave up but I was thinking about our level of expectations from platform food which is supposed to regualted by govt. authorities (is it?) After dinner, others sat for another round of gupshup and I went for another geri round. No Luck. All babes were asleep under white sheets. I came back to see Karan sleeping on a seat which was vacated by uncle in Nagpur would be empty till Gwalior (as TT told him after taking 50 bucks)
Next day, it was sunday and we were in periphery of Delhi and I could feel and smell the air of my land (or was it people relieving themselves in fields nearby? Yuck!!!) I will never remember those station names and their sequence which come before
We reached
Cheers,
Ashish
P.S. As one can guess, I have loads of complaint against railways but I definitely salute their tenacity and operative effectiveness in covering so many routes, carrying millions of passengers and supporting crores of families. Its worth appreciating but if we have to sustain this and move forward, we would require loads of work to be done on infrastructure and facilities.
Sunday, 3 February 2008
A day in london life.
I was in London almost a year back
where ppl say, life is so fast that mere mortals would crack!
Yes. I tend to agree,
but as usual only to certain degree!
So, let me describe to all of you,
a day of my life in London, less of city more of zoo.
Work was like girls in spain
but getting up early is always a pain!
Another 15 min wouldn't do any harm,
sweet sweet sleep, let me snooze the alarm.
while ironing, my mind would deliberate,
should I carry my lunch? or shall I take a sandwich to munch??
I would run to station to catch 8:10 London Bridge train,
but most of the time, my run would end in a vain!
Huffed puffed I used to run the London Bridge walk,
most of the times alone but sometimes with another Infy guy to talk!
Standing on Monument platform I would pray,
God!!! please help me blink over this another dull day.
Sitting at the desk, awfully bored I would think and crunch,
How come Vinish is so busy!!! why is he not sending any mails for Lunch?
At 12:15, he would come say "you guys carry on,
I am going to fitness first to improve my body tone."
At lunch, mukund would argue over chicken biryani,
"Sachin is no good now" was the standard kahani.
Subbu was my mate in this banter,
"Sachin is our saviour and the god" we would canter!
Time after lunch was so damn boring,
sometimes, I would hear Tim snoring.
Its 4:30 and Office is already empty,
Just now, Simon left with humpty and dumpty
Ya..ya I know, its 6'o Clock,
Time to turn on the PC lock.
Another London walk run,
but this time its fun.
Me and Mukund are running for a ferrari one two,
Mukund!! there is slow moving traffic, please help me shoo.
6:25 train to brighton used to be the target of the dash,
oops its on platform 6 instead of 8, run if you wanna catch!
"Next stop is east croydon, please mind the gap between the train and platform" a sweet voice would break my zen.
should I go to muks house or to my den?
Its so damn cold, i need some aag,
I better hit home and cook some saag. (bad rhyme, I know)
At home, after the standard net surfing,
what should I do next? I would be cringing.
One day, when everything was dull and boring,
A thought came that I should start blogging.
As usual with my style,
out came some blogs in no while.
But then I was bored again, and I got lazy,
no topics to blog, things were again dull and hazy.
Now, almost a year since then.
I got a feeling that I should blog again.
so, here am I writing.
this small piece which I think is rhyming.
Hope that this time unlike last
i would keep blogging regularly and fast.
Thanks for your patience,
Ashish Sharma
where ppl say, life is so fast that mere mortals would crack!
Yes. I tend to agree,
but as usual only to certain degree!
So, let me describe to all of you,
a day of my life in London, less of city more of zoo.
Work was like girls in spain
but getting up early is always a pain!
Another 15 min wouldn't do any harm,
sweet sweet sleep, let me snooze the alarm.
while ironing, my mind would deliberate,
should I carry my lunch? or shall I take a sandwich to munch??
I would run to station to catch 8:10 London Bridge train,
but most of the time, my run would end in a vain!
Huffed puffed I used to run the London Bridge walk,
most of the times alone but sometimes with another Infy guy to talk!
Standing on Monument platform I would pray,
God!!! please help me blink over this another dull day.
Sitting at the desk, awfully bored I would think and crunch,
How come Vinish is so busy!!! why is he not sending any mails for Lunch?
At 12:15, he would come say "you guys carry on,
I am going to fitness first to improve my body tone."
At lunch, mukund would argue over chicken biryani,
"Sachin is no good now" was the standard kahani.
Subbu was my mate in this banter,
"Sachin is our saviour and the god" we would canter!
Time after lunch was so damn boring,
sometimes, I would hear Tim snoring.
Its 4:30 and Office is already empty,
Just now, Simon left with humpty and dumpty
Ya..ya I know, its 6'o Clock,
Time to turn on the PC lock.
Another London walk run,
but this time its fun.
Me and Mukund are running for a ferrari one two,
Mukund!! there is slow moving traffic, please help me shoo.
6:25 train to brighton used to be the target of the dash,
oops its on platform 6 instead of 8, run if you wanna catch!
"Next stop is east croydon, please mind the gap between the train and platform" a sweet voice would break my zen.
should I go to muks house or to my den?
Its so damn cold, i need some aag,
I better hit home and cook some saag. (bad rhyme, I know)
At home, after the standard net surfing,
what should I do next? I would be cringing.
One day, when everything was dull and boring,
A thought came that I should start blogging.
As usual with my style,
out came some blogs in no while.
But then I was bored again, and I got lazy,
no topics to blog, things were again dull and hazy.
Now, almost a year since then.
I got a feeling that I should blog again.
so, here am I writing.
this small piece which I think is rhyming.
Hope that this time unlike last
i would keep blogging regularly and fast.
Thanks for your patience,
Ashish Sharma
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